Respect for Authority

Have you ever heard a child defiantly respond to their parent with these words, “No! I don’t want to do that!” Children, at a very early age, exhibit telltale signs that they want to be their own authority. They have tendencies toward being selfish and demanding that the world revolves around their needs and desires. Within the context of parenting which faithfully meets their needs, children need to be taught respect for authority.

Boys come to Allegany Boys Camp with varying problems; however, almost every boy who comes to camp has a problem respecting authority.

The fruit of this attitude problem typically surfaces in one or more of the following 3 areas: at home, in school, or with the law. In fact, defiance toward authority is usually the catalyst that motivates parents to enroll their son at camp.

Learning to respect authority is a foundational principle necessary for children’s development in some very important areas.

When a child has healthy relationships with his authorities it fosters feelings of security, belongingness, and competence.

Unhealthy relationships with authorities brings feelings of insecurity and alienation.

The biblical design is for the transfer of wisdom and understanding to occur within the context of healthy relationships.

“Hear, ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding.” Proverbs 4:1

“And the things that thou hast heard of me among many witnesses, the same commit thou to faithful men, who shall be able to teach others also.” 2 Timothy 2:2

At camp, a boy’s primary authority is his Chief. As a boy learns to trust his Chief and respect him, his heart becomes open and teachable. He begins to develop emotionally, academically, and spiritually.

Learning this principle is so important that in Ephesians the Lord makes a direct connection between the quality of our life and how well we respect our parents.

“Honor thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” Ephesians 6:2–3

Teaching children to respect authority is no small task.

It begins with parents modeling what this looks like in their own lives with their authorities.

Parents must also meet the needs of their children.

This requires time and lots of patience.

Sharing meal times, working and playing together, and being available to talk, all foster a healthy relationship that will help pave the way for talking with children under strained situations.

However, children are more than just the sum of what parents and others put into them. They also interact with pressures of life and choose their responses which will, over time, mold their character.

Therefore, parents must deal with their child’s selfish bent toward ruling his/her own life by exercising their authority and persistently requiring children to obey. Disobedience must be met with firm correction. Children must learn that the world does not revolve around them.

They must be called to contribute to the good of a cause that is larger than themselves.

They can learn this in the family setting by helping with chores, sharing toys, and learning to submit their desires for the benefit of the family.

At camp, boys learn these things within the group setting. They are called to take responsibility for their actions and to contribute to the greater good of the group, even when it means giving up personal desires.

Parents are called by God to teach their children to respect authority, not primarily for their own comfort, but so that their children will glorify God. If you are a parent, persistently press toward this high calling. Respect is earned over a period of time. As you exercise your parental authority, may it reflect kindness, warmth, firmness, and resolute determination to enforce limits.

Daryl Miller
Family Worker

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